We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
