is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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