He asked to "fluff my boner.."
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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