Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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