I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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