his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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