you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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