shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
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you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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