I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
