Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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