just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize