We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
