Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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