just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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