love makes seman taste better
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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