Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
