After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
