I wannas sexs uuuuu
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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