You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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