Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Soap is not a condiment
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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