I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize