Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
