like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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