i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
