Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
