how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
