ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
