it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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