Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
