It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
