Why are handjobs necessary in class?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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