There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
now i know why i became what i already was.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
