Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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