My girlfriend figured out who you are.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
