Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
