I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
