Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
