he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
