He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
