I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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