the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
this will be a night to untag.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
