Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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