I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
God, I missed his penis.
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