you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
