let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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