I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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