just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
