I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
