i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
