I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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This show inspires me to have sex in space
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
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If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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