I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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