Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
