so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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