Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
