so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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