He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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