end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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