I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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