we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
