I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
