white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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