new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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