Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize