I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
