do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
