I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
