question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
