Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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