my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
